The biggest love with the coldest end
- Theodora Pavlidou
- Jun 10, 2020
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 18, 2020

Here comes a time that every person needs to face their biggest mistakes and understand what those failures taught them; for me, my 2 years long-distant relationship was the biggest lesson so far. Since I started Fighters Journey, I always knew that this day would come, the day of me talking about you, my hefty lesson. You were the first person who showed me what it means to love and to be loved. My first relationship and my first anguish.
Our story goes back to 2017, the night we had the chance for the first time to sit for hours and hold a deep conversation about everything. Before that night, we were just acquaintances, as life circumstances never aligned for us to get to know each other; I was living in the UK and you were in Greece. After the Eastern holidays were over, we both had to get back to our everyday lives, in two different countries.
After that night, we both knew that we could not ignore the attraction that had been developed between us; you wanted a relationship but I was scared because of the distance. You did not give up, you tried to comfort me, to make me trust my feelings for you. Eventually, we took the mutual decision to try and make this relationship work.
We did try, for 2 painful years, while still living in two different countries, with lots of ups and downs. We fought, we broke up, we cried, we hurt each other, but the love was still there. Up to this day, I vividly remember how I was looking into your dazzling eyes when I told you that you were my first love and I wanted you to be my last one, remember? But we were too selfish to keep the love going, and we buried it, along with all the dreams and hopes. Now only memories are left, and each day that is passing, they are fading, like our love, till the day they would disappear completely, and no feelings would be attached to the reappearing memory of your face in my mind. You would become an unemotional picture, the one that brings up only a feeling of emptiness.
You were the first one who respected me, but two year later our story ends with immense disrespect; all the qualities you showed me at the beginning that made me fall in love with you, turned out to be just an illusion. You were saying that you loved me but in the end you were in love with the girl you wanted me to be, rather than the girl I actually was. You tried to change my behaviour, my clothes, even my friends, who were always telling me how unworthy you were of me. Instead of letting me enjoy my student years and trusting my love and loyalty towards you, you were emotionally abusing and manipulated me into obeying to your will while you were living in a different country! Now I can finally admit that your controlling behaviour made me lie to you many times; I had to lie about things that shouldn’t have bothered you in the first place if you were even half the man I thought you were. It took me long to realise your cunning nature, to come in terms with your manipulative behaviour. It took me long to grow into a strong enough woman and to get you out of my life.
A year has passed since the last time we spoke, since the last time I allowed you to control me and verbally insult me. A year later I can attest of how enjoyful my life is without you present in it, like a free bird flying in the sky, without constraining myself and having to care about how you would react. When you came into my life, every bit of me wanted you there forever. And now, every bit of me is grateful that you are part of my past; the biggest lesson you taught me was what kind of person I want to have by my side to share this joyful journey of life; and this person would be everything you never were, your complete opposite.
We never said a final goodbye, I did not have the emotional power to face you once again. Consider this story as our official ending, as only now I have the power to let go of you completely.
And now I am a girl who is afraid to love, trust and have feelings for someone. When we broke up I told you “Before I met you I never thought I would love someone so much, that I never believed in love.” Now I am at the exact same point in life that I was when I met you; not being able to believe in love and scared to feel love again; because I am afraid of finding someone like you again, afraid of choosing someone who would resemble you in any way. You broke me and there is nothing I can do about it… Here we are, a year after our break up, I am still broken and you are with a new girl.
Our very final goodbye
You should consider that experience as a moral lesson. Our choices should be the result of a mixture between prudence and emotion where the one factor confirms the other.